Spread your wings...

I received an email today from my best friend who is serving a proselyting mission in Rhode Island and something in her email really struck a chord with me. Enough so that I wanted to record down some of my thoughts.

She wrote of an experience she had after Elder Holland, an apostle of the Lord, had visited her mission area and spoke to all of the local missionaries in a zone conference. One phrase that she quoted Elder Holland as saying really resonated with how I have been feeling lately. In fact, he put into words something that I didn't know I was yearning to hear until I read it in her email. He said, "We don't fly because we are too inclined to play it safe." I love this phrase because I have been feeling some hesitancy on how to move forward with my life now that I am graduated and I feel that it really just encompasses everything that I think the Lord is trying to tell me at this stage in my life right now. 

Last week, I applied for an internship in Washington D.C. and despite my excitement and relief at the prospect, I have been nervous, afraid, and sad at the same time. Thoughts of what I will miss out on have been on my mind and I keep wondering what will happen if I move out of Provo, or even scarier, what will happen if I move to D.C. However, I can feel that the Lord really wants me to fly, only I have yet to figure out how. I know I would be so ungrateful and prideful if I completely glazed over what I have felt already about this opportunity, but it has just been hard with almost everything I know coming to an end.

After reading this phrase, however, I felt peace and a sense of assurance and rightness that yes Katie, you will fly if you put your faith in the Lord and take that giant leap of faith into the unknown. One of my old bishops used to call it a "stretching" moment and just like Nephi in 1 Nephi 4:6, I will be led, "not knowing beforehand the things that I should do". I really believe that this is one of those stretching moments and I am so grateful for friends like the one I have serving in Rhode Island right now, who are in situations that provide me with comfort and inspiration. As I have been thinking about moving to D.C. for the last several months, I have realized that finding this internship has been such a huge blessing.  I have been worrying about getting a job/internship, where and when I will go to grad school, and of course the "If I leave Utah, will I ever get married?" question, but I know that if I find solace and healing in the Savior, Jesus Christ and stop limiting myself by judging too quickly what may or may not happen, then I will experience something so incredibly great that there will be no room for me to doubt or regret any decision I have made. I WILL FLY!

And so, with these thoughts filling my mind and now this page, I temporarily bid adieu with a promise that I will update you all on what has been going on in my life over the past year. Let me tell you, it has been a whirlwind! I'll just end today's post by saying a few things I am grateful for. I am grateful for my family; I am nothing without them. I am grateful for the Lord, my Savior, and this Gospel and for all that it teaches me, especially through the scriptures. I am grateful that I have this blog where I can write down my thoughts and feelings and genuinely reflect on anything I wish to talk to about. I love writing. I also love you all and pray that you will find comfort and inspiration in the little things like I have done today. 

With much love, Katie